香香的故事

 
我之前跟香香去游泳(南港)被制止不可以帶相機拍寶寶，
就算我們一直保證只拍水裡面的寶寶他們還是不讓我們帶，於是我們就離開不游了。

選擇今天來敘述我到底這一年多在幹嘛是因為今天香香10天大了~加上我終於有力氣坐起來用兩隻手打字
看到上一篇是去年ㄉ生日就試著要想起今年的生日，不過。。。記不起來怎麼過了，可能因為今年生日ㄉ時候正在害喜的關係吧
工作:
去年9/10月開始在THD工作到我發現懷孕孕吐到一個不得了，因為公司是做空間香氛香器設計的，加上我身體又沒中國同胞硬朗，老闆不准我改成PART TIME 於是5月就遺憾ㄉ離開，我當時是做品牌，我其實很喜歡那邊的同事，但是為了BB。。
懷孕:
我是在6周發現的吧，吐ㄉ狠狠狠厲害，葉酸都吃不下去因為葉酸是乳酸片ㄉ味道，(孕婦不要學˙我，葉酸在計畫懷孕ㄉ開頭就要吃了!)，發現心跳時很快樂也很害怕，因為一年多前我也懷孕但是卻流掉了。
終於等到12周，BBㄉ心跳持續而且活動力強，我們可以開心ㄉ宣布我們有了! (第一次一發現100天前就到處宣布，結果。。。下場不妙)
第20周時在上海產檢發現有唇顎裂，那一刻我們眼前真的是一黑，醫師很盡力的幫我們再約很厲害的ULTRASOUN技術師來幫我們照，是確認有的，我們回家哭阿哭得，很傷心不知道該怎麼辦。
BORIS只想留住她，我當時考慮要不要讓她離開，我開始上網研究跟學習唇顎裂，而BORIS仍在傷心，我們隨即馬上買了機票回台灣做確認
結果是有明顯唇列，顎裂則須要看生下來時ㄉ情況
從一開始發現的難過 崩潰 問自己為何是我 想要墮胎 回想過去是否作出導致唇顎裂的行為 到過幾天的接受 想開 並切有強烈慾望的保胎
我們只是一對深愛寶貝女兒的父母，想堅強但是不夠堅強 ， 2個人脆弱的互相依賴
這一步步身心的煎熬我們經歷過 也到後來的度過了我們加入了兔唇寶寶的社群 (BBH的兔寶寶故事屋)，從那邊我得到很多知識，也得到很多鼓勵，要很感謝那邊的爸爸媽媽給我ㄉ支持，真的很感謝，我們從上海回到台灣做了羊膜穿刺，好幾次高層次超音波，都確認寶寶其實除ㄌ唇顎裂外沒其他很嚴重的缺陷，我們也實實的決定要好好生下她，養育她。因為台灣的唇顎裂技術十分精良，是世界級的利害，加上又有健保COVER，我們就決定搬回來了生活:我得了很嚴重的產期憂鬱症，不喜歡社交，討厭聲音，不想見人，又很消極，悲觀，對待BORIS也很兇，他很受不了，我也好幾次想不開，加上她媽媽跑來上海淌這渾水，搞得情況跟我的憂鬱症更糟，還威脅要帶BORIS離開我，我人生最脆弱時被這樣一擊造成的很大的陰影(這修也就不多贅敘了，其實我能堅強的撐到現在這這打BLOG我也是真是值得佩服的一個SUPERWOMAN來的。 最後我接受很多台灣媽媽的幫助搬了家，好友MONICAㄉ幫助在上海的最後幾天有地方住，CHILLIㄉ幫助幫我ㄉ貓貓找到一個家，還有心理醫師跟婦產醫師的幫助情況慢慢好轉，回到台灣也找到房子了。現在BORIS積極的找工作，(雖然他已經試很久很氣餒了)，香香的情況是很輕微的唇裂，過完年我們要開刀，我的身體也在穩定的復原中但是心理上還是有點怕生(哈)，不過能夠熬過來一堆我懶得提到的一堆鳥事我已經很感嘆的微喜了，情況會慢慢好轉的。

 
 
It has been 17 months and 8 days since we started as "us", instead of "I" or "You".
 
I love the way that you learn how to love me, you've tried so hard to be a better boyfriend,
even though you only bring me flowers when I ask you to,
 
and from time to time.......
you would rub my feet for no reason, fill up the bubble bath for me and handmade the foams in the bath,
you would bring me anything I want you to bring when I am being lazy in bed,
you would always give me a kiss when you meet me,
you would carry the heavier bags for me when we go shopping
you would carry my girly handbag even though you feel a little ashamed
you would tell me at least 3 times I Love You every single day
you would always tell me no matter how fat I am now I am always as sexy as you fist met me
you would hold my hand when we are in bed watching DVD
you would kiss me in front of all the Chinese staring
you would hug me always and tell me Su-fu Su-fu~
  
 
  
  
 
I never thought one day I would find someone like you, who is...
so patient with my hot temper
so gentle when I get all furious and physical toward you
so decent that you would never litter or cheat on anyone
so pure that your eyes only have me in them
so cute that you would read my grandmother an article in Chinese that you wrote about you & me
so sweet that everyone I know likes you so much!
so loving that I would never let you go
so hard-working that even your boss compliment you for your efforts!
so ambitious that you told me: "baby, I will try my best to make much more money and make you proud, you just have to wait and see"- honey, you are already making me proud, and I am very, very happy to just be with you like this.
 

 
 
 
your cute smile can always brighten up my day & night, you always hug me like you have never hugged,
I feel so loved and cared by you, I have never met someone like you, really,
 
and I am blessed to have you by my side,
let me tell you all the deep secrets that I keep in me never let out
let me be weak in front of you and cry in your arms
let me be a kid in front of you even though we both are 30+
let me selflessly love you the way I want to love you and return me the same
let me be a woman that should be confident in everyway.
 

 
 
 
baby I love you and this blog is dedicating to you because I am very grateful and proud of being your girlfriend,


 
 
 
I have just tucked you into the blanket and light up the essence oil with your favored scent, and put the nature-sound cd to make you sleep better, I am now going back to watch your cute sleeping face,
I love you forever and ever!